Never gonna be another like ME

2010-02-12T00:47:00.007+08:00

Im currently hooked onto this song now...its an epic song

KINGS And QUEENS by 30 Seconds to Mars,
turn up those speakers and ENJOY !!

Lyrics

Into the night
Desperate and broken
The sound of a fight
Father has spoken

We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

Into your eyes
Hopeless and taken
We stole our new lives
Through blood and name
In defense of our dreams
In defense of our dreams

We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the Children of a lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

The age of man is over
A darkness comes at dawn
These lessons that we learned here
Have only just begun

We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the Children of a Lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell

We are the Kings
We are the Queens
We are the Kings
We are the Queens

2010-01-27T00:09:00.002+08:00

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Rotting at home doesnt suit me at all.

2010-01-10T12:48:00.002+08:00

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Being Busy is living.
Nono, its not stress, its having no extra time on your own after doing so many things..
But at least, being busy keeps me alive.

Finally finished two major project.
One being my I&E event in school on Tuesday ( one of my poly module)
The other is the Sec 1 Orientation Campfire XD. Hell yea, the campfire was great.
Thanks guys and girls for making it a success. Hope that this campfire will serve as a great inspirational starting point to your wonderful 2010. Hope it is to mine too. =)

Yes yes, halidah, im chio...okay?? ZzZz..

My life is...school, scouting, working and more work. Work is still fun as ever. Sitting inside the big ballroom, listening to the loud music blasting just meters from the console, looking at happy adults, going wild, drinking and getting high during their D&D. I wonder if my future is like that too; might be one of those small little employees jumping around from table to table taking pictures ...or the freaking rich big-shot CEO sitting at the VIP table...I realise i have not much of a future if i keep thinking like this, haha.

My life for the next 4 months will be...school, scout events and works (note that i've put school in front). Commont Test results wasnt so sastifactory. Average of 60+ scores for all my papers, one got 78, but still sucky. That paper can get at least 85 one. Zzz...well, i still study well under pressure. This time i only study like 3-4hrs before the paper...what to do, what to do. There's still the 40%big paper at the end of semester. Jiayou!!

My life is...i want to spend it with you...but i know its not going to come true so soon.

2009-12-02T23:17:00.005+08:00

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Lyrics
Two Is Better Than One Lyrics

[ft. Taylor Swift]
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

This song rocks my world now. =)
One more song to be added into my list of "songs i want to sing to my girlfriend"

2009-12-02T20:59:00.002+08:00

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Standing alone in the biggest cinema in singapore; clearing GV max yesterday during EOS. Clearing Gv max has always been a great, scary, tiring, exciting, lonely, scary ( oh wait i mentioned scary already) experience. Haha......It helps, it helps alright. It helps to keep my emotion in check; it helps me reflect; it helps me think. That time when i was dealing with depression, i kept volunteering to clear hall alone. Emo-ing alone in the big theatre really contain me. Its a kind of self-intoxication....crap.

And i thought i was over it.

2009-11-25T08:35:00.003+08:00

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What an "eventful" week. Haha. Last week was super. Had a total of 5projects/events. G7 campfire last thursday and a total of 6shows (which i did 5) over the weekend from fri-sun. Tired tired tired. But the money earned was good; and the sastification achieved was.......shiokkkkkk. Although its not my first time doing DJ and music support for show, it still feels great and fresh. I'm gonna get better at it, i know i can. Why? I love my job. I love being drowned in good music, waves of highness and the happy faces of audiences. And, i love my job. =) Total earning last weeks was...$70+$90+$70 = $250. Nice.

But still...

Ian is right. He said "Since you are working so much, you should dedicate more of your free time to study."

Mr Shen is right. He said "Mingxian, i feel that you still arent putting in a lot of effort into working on the things you want. You are still very carefree."

Yea, these are negative comments but great advices. I really need to start putting in effort to work on my studies and get my As. I know i can do it. Even if it makes me a lifeless zombie, i will do it. As i move on, i need to remember the resoultion i set for myself this year. "Determination, devotion and dedication." Be true to yourself. You are not doing this for another one else but yourself.

Balance is the key. To efficiently balance work, play and study is like...godly. Something that is super not me. But i got to try. Practise time management, practise determination, going against laziness and rejections. To do something, you must scarifice the other. In the end, all it comes down to is balance. You cant devote all your time to something when you have so many commitments. I dont want to lose things anymore, but that doesnt mean i cant take in more. I just need to have a bigger heart, and a stronger spirit.

Jiayou Me !!

2009-11-04T08:34:00.004+08:00

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Orchid Hotel once again for last Saturday's show. Its Lunch and Dance instead of D&D. Haha.
Where are all the young chio waitress??? Rawr... 2nd Show at tampines CC ; Halloween Party. Got to wear wizard hat, harry potter kinda full length robe and the Scream Mask. Lol. What a combo. Kids love them, but dammit, their costume more zai. Hahaha. Had lots of fun. But still, where are all the young girls !!!!! RAWR !!! Am i getting despo??

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Sunday was Box office Sales again. Amazingly, account was accurate, i didnt up/down money.
Monday and Tuesday (yesterday), nothing much to talk about except for GV Chalet !! Haha.
Drank a lot, played a lot, Gambled a lot. Win on e first night but lose on the second. You cant play Mahjong with adults, esp veteran. Bloodly Hell...play with them damn stress. Silence but fast and super freaking fierce. 0_o. Never 'hu' once after Sebas came in. Worse still, after he come in, i keep playing wrong tiles to chris and jansen. Lose damn big. Haha, but my winning from previous night can cover. Heng ar...Ok la, at least i can play my this new theory for CNY 2010. =p

Busy week ahead...but first thing first, SLEEP. The acohol from the night before havent "wake". ZzZzZzZzZz........

2009-10-27T19:38:00.001+08:00

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At first it was a promise made to you.
But the purpose not longer hold its meaning...

Quitting smoking is really tough and painful.

2009-10-22T20:24:00.003+08:00

______________________________
My heart aches everytime my fringe got shorter...haha
But this is the first time i feel so good about short hair. Lol...
Glad i took my hairstylist's advice.

XD. Long and messy fringe can be irritating. I find it more and more these days.

2009-10-20T21:53:00.006+08:00

Haven't do this for quite a while. But the song that got stuck in my head at the moment is this song. Featuring TaeYang (SOL) from Big Bang. Wonderful Superb Solo. TaeYang's "Only look at me". Enjoy!! XD

Lyrics*

"It's been on my mind for a while."
"Gotta get this off my chest."
"Before it's.. too late."
"I can't letcha go."
"Ya gotta let it go."
"I can't letcha go."
"Ya gotta.. listen."

Just looking at you and smiling a few times a day,
I've told you hundreds of times, "you're the love of my life".
And I've told you, in this corrupt world,
You're the only one my restless mind can trust.

Though you thought I'd change my mind about you,
If you felt uneasy I smiled and told you that'd never happen.
In my endlessly wandering, hollow heart
The only place I can rest is in you but

I hate myself for having strayed from you.#
Even today I'm wrapped up in what I'm doing and erasing you from my life, "baby, baby."

Chorus:
*Even though I stray from you, don't you ever stray from me, "baby",
Even though I forget about you, don't you forget me, "lady".
Even though I drink and don't call,
Even if I briefly meet eyes with another girl,
Only look at me.*

Tonight you've waited for me 'til the break of day again.
You're talking to me through tears, saying I've changed.#
But facing you, my feelings for you are the same as before.
Though I soothe you countless times,

I'm gonna have a hard time without you.#
Sometimes I lose my breath just thinking about you.# ##(alternative fits the following lyrics better)#But sometimes you suffocate me (smother me).#

In endless fights and an endless sigh
The only place you can rest is in me.

But I hate myself for growing tired of you.#
Even today I'm smiling but secretly losing faith, "baby, baby."

*Chorus*

"Stop."

I know I'm being selfish,
But in the time I've been wasting every day, I've become corrupt like this, "baby".
I only want you to stay pure forever.
I want this with my whole heart, this is my faith in you,
Don't leave me 'til the day you die.

Even though I stray from you don't you ever stray from me.
Even though I forget about you, don't you forget me.
Even though I drink and don't call,
Even though I briefly meet eyes with another girl,
Only look at me.
Only look at me.

Even though I drink and don't call... (continue)
Only look at me.

I only want you to stay pure forever.
I want this with my whole heart, this is my faith in you,
Don't leave me 'til the day you die.

*Chorus*

2009-10-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

Say hi to a new school term =)
And also welcoming back my hardworking and enthusiatic attitude. XD.
Work hard everyone~~!!

2009-10-13T20:15:00.001+08:00

Boring Boring Boring Boring Boring Boring.....

FUCK OFF !!!

2009-10-06T22:04:00.002+08:00

Back to the days of cup noodles and long work shifts. With Shows on weekends and little time to roam around and party. But who cares...im enjoying it. =) Two more weeks to school.

Dedication sync with motivation and determination = promise kept. Im quitting smoking and getting into shape. Hitting the gym at least twice every week. Lets hope i get ripped in time. XD.

Push myself to the limit. GO!

2009-10-01T04:21:00.002+08:00

I think i jump into things too fast. Again. =)
But i never though it'll end like this. Its so so fast.
Well...thank God for taking away my little happiness...again. Thanks man. I love and hate you at the same time...i really mean it.

Never been this emotional for so darn long...damn...

Regarding the post about my confession (below). I'll leave it as it is. I dont care whether you read it or not, honestly. Cos i felt true about you...thats why i chose to perserve it.

Ps- Thanks all for encouraging me and had been talking to me to bring me back to my feet. =) Im fine now.

2009-10-01T04:18:00.002+08:00

Music's up. YAY XDDD
I'll do well to update it as much as possible to bring you new songs on the monthly billboard charts. =)

Be it rock, alternative, rap, hip-hop, you got it all. Too bad, i dun do trance, techno, heavy & death metal. =D

And also, i'll try my best to look for the music together with the MV so that you all got more entertainment. =) And i'll also try my best to find LIVE performance, due to my love for them =)

2009-09-25T23:29:00.002+08:00

...................................
Last post of the day. =)

I joined GV during my semester break holidays. I didnt regret it and i love it. I shall talk about what my work's like next time cos im already mentally tired from writing 3posts fresh out of my head. >.<>

This post is dedicated to this one special girl. =)

I'll be honest here and now... From the depth of my heart...

I meant it when i said u are becoming someone special to me, cos u already have.
Now im thinking of you almost every seconds and minutes we are not together.
The last time i said..."I miss you..." and " I love you..." was so so long ago. And the last time that i really meant it when i said it was even longer. I wanted to say this two simple phrase to you from times to times (before we are together =p) but i didnt have the guts to. Yet, u said it earlier and faster than i do. I felt happy...really happy.
You've put warmth back into my heart. =)

I not lying when i said i used to mess around with other girls, most of my friends know.
But its all so different now. You are the only one in my heart. I want to be with you.
You are the only one that matters to me now. I mean it.

There is so much so much i want to share and talk to you. But i'll save it for later. =)

For now i want to say...

Im glad i confessed to you that night...

Even happier when u accept...

Jocelyn...

I love you.
And i want to last long with you. =)

2009-09-25T23:13:00.002+08:00

*(i think its best to leave a line before every sentence to make it look better)*

This post is for what i wanted to say on my 19th birthday. Ive been keeping it in for so long.

19th birthday. 26/08/1990. Saddest birthday ive ever had. Maybe its the present, maybe its the wishes. Only had one present so far. And a few wishes. Some of the friends which i think is 'closer' to me...i think they either forgot or didnt care. Its ok. I didnt want to be so high-profile =) but yet i cant feel sad and lonely, since i have such high hopes for it. Haha.

I did this a year ago. And im going to do it again. Reflections.

18th year of my life. Did a lot of things, proud of and regretted. Tried a lot of new stuffs, also proud of and regretted. Overall...improvement =).

I have friends. I have companies. I have people to look out of me even if im not aware of it. Improvement in developing stronger bonds and relationship with my scout troop and the boys. And im proud of it. Done a lot of projects with HQ and got recognised and acquainted among a lot of district and area scout leaders. Well-known by juniors, also from other schools. =) Improved bonds and friendships with close friends and also known a lot of people during work. Money's not that important. Its the heart and the effort that is.

Improvement in disclipline. School and work. Later half of the year, i managed to settle down in studies and started to convert all my lousy Cs and Ds back to Bs. At least i got a A for my one of my module last sem. Great improvement but not enough. I got to keep pushing. Now i really really really really really want to get into university. I really really really really really really want to advance and soar. I dont want to lose to my peers, i dont want to lose to a lot of people. I am special and i can do it.

Drive and motivation. Slightly improving bit by bit. But i feel that its not strong enough, i have too little conviction. So my New year's (26/08/09-26/08/10) resolution shall be..."to be strong in both words and action". I need to be driven, i need to be disclipline. But i know i cant do it alone, i need help.

I will not only try my best. I will DO my best.

2009-09-25T22:43:00.002+08:00

First post: to comment on the new blog skin and blog url as usual.

'Your-viceroy-kiss.blogspot.com', thats the url of the new set-up. "Viceroy-kiss" is a phrase ive thought up of long long ago. If i were to write a song base on this title, it'll make it big, c'mon its so original. Checked against ultimate-guitar, lyrics.com and even search engine. No one has publish a song under this title yet. Lol. But anyway, u guys know i smoke and my brand's Viceroy Menthol Light. Guys who smoke know that its a super light cold smoke. And most of my girls smoke too. So, ive decided to name my blog under this title, whereby i can remind myself that smoking is already part of my life, and its bad. Im currently quitting right now, so give me support will ya. And the "your" actually refers to my girl, yea, she smokes too. Nothing much, just thought that the whole phrase is fine. Compare to before, i think i dun want to think that my life is perfect anymore. So no more "thisismyperfectworld.blogspot.com". It sounds so...self centred at this point of time. I dun want to be just me in my life, you get me?

The theme of the blog is once again, black. As usual. I cant let black go. Its part of my life. I still think that black is like the best background tone that can fully bring out the potential of other bright color. It kinda reflects my life whereby i like to think of its as flashes of light in darkness. =). Dun worry guys, im not that emo anymore. I have no reason to. Haha. And ive thought about including some night scene kind of theme into the background, since like two blog ago. At first i wanted ferris wheels...lamp posts and maybe brick-roads or say...neon light signs. But i cant be so picky and im lucky that i managed to find this. I love it so much i just settle on it.

Layout of the new one is cramp-ier than before. But its fine. My impression of its is to look simple, just a bit of pattern and cool-ness painted across it. Its fine, its really fine. =). Had to spent some time to mess around with the font size and alignment...troublesome.

Music's aint up yet. I had problem with mixpods. Or maybe i should go back to using imeem. I wonder. I cant live without music. Its dead when its quiet. Yea, thats me.

All in all, i think this new blog is going to be great. I launched it wanting to write a new chapter in my life. With a new year, a new hope and a new relationship. =)

Ok, next post.

2009-09-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

Heyys guys. Im back in business. Haha, u all know that i have been M.I.A for like 2mths now, a few weeks before my birthday. Well, i was comtemplating on re-formatting and work on my blog again. And i have soooooo much i want to say but i either didnt have time, or the mood to. Work isnt helping much. Least i earn money. So, im going to write a few post straight away.

2009-09-22T22:30:00.002+08:00

Testing testing